The little tug on my back jean pocket caused me to turn. I looked into my friend's eyes as she whispered "Just a little something..."I smiled at her and expressed my thanks. Later after leaving her home I pulled the crisp bill from my pocket. $100! I was surprised, gratefulness flooding my heart. Her generosity gave me reason to reflect as our car hummed down the highway. Flashes of people and their kindness to me rushed through my mind. My friend's mom who gave me work my first year of college--more than work she gave me kindness, hospitality, trust and so much more. Oh, the family who prepared a beautiful studio apartment for Boaz and I our first year of marriage. Then I thought of my grandmother who was always sharing her resources in gifts or activities I never would have experienced otherwise. There is also the family of my dear friend who opened their home and lives to me during a summer I needed to study for a big test.
My mind raced onto the two families working as expats in Dakar who opened their homes and lives to us during a time we so needed their friendship and refreshment. The beautiful Senegalese women who, upon our visit to her home, went to her wardrobe and chose an outfit for me. It was no minor gift. And the numerous faces that danced in my memory of those who had given money towards Lika's adoption. My parents and Boaz's parents, there is no room to tell of their acts of generosity towards us. The memories of many more continued to speed their way through my mind.
Then an introspective question reared its reality in my reminiscing. Am I that willing to part with my resources to bless another's life? And here I found myself face to face with my "closet skeleton" of selfishness. Oh, I probably don't look very selfish on the outside, but deep in the darkness of my soul selfishness grasps with cold, gnarly fingers at my heart.
Enter the third aspect of my reflections. God does not waste our life experiences. So, possibly by looking at the trends in my life so far, I can begin to grasp God's calling on my future. This is true for countless Bible characters.
David. A shepherd learning the gentle leadership skills needed, then called to be palace musician to the king. What all did he learn while waiting, watching and serving in the palace? I imagine he learned a lot that prepared him to be king.
Moses. He was raised in a home that taught him of God and His plan, brought to the palace of Egypt to learn all the ways of military leadership, then off to the desert to learn. First to learn how to trust God wholly, and then also desert survival skills. All these were used to prepare him to lead many people through the desert and trust God completely while doing it!
After all the beautiful examples of generosity in my life, is it possible God is calling me to live a life of generosity? Is He calling me to more than "safe" generosity of hosting people in my home for a meal or an extended stay? Dare I pay attention to the lesson of my life experiences? He is calling me to let go of my material attachments so I can take something from my closet and give it out of love; so I can take money and put in in another's pocket; so I can give my extra bed to some with greater need; so I can give a job to a young person who needs the money and friendship. He's calling me to run from the self that tries to grab and hold on tight, and let generosity embrace me and flow from my hands.
~~~LaRae
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